This was originally part of Anarchy in Prague's rewrite, but it got out of hand within half an hour. Gist: a Reddit bot is actually a real, honest-to-god bot and not just an online software program. It's actually not part of Anarchie, which is why I'm posting it in its own thread as an official threadstarter.
Skip to the giant "Q" if you want the story. Otherwise, read my short little ramble on what went wrong.
So Venus was screwing about at home like the NEET she is, pissing about on Reddit. Then she got the idea to create a Reddit bot— you can generate a bot through online software, even if you have absolutely no programming experience. The ability to get a custom-made script by an AI has created a sort of Eternal September for content creators utilizing AI; this isn't even her first custom bot. It just happens that she decides to use her personal Pepper robot, Salt, as a sort of server for this robot. This essentially means that she has what is probably the only physical Reddit bot on Earth.
Where did it go wrong/right? Well this is a scene from the old Anarchie that I'm getting rid of, and I still like it. Kill your darlings!
So I decided to redo it.
'It's always fun to watch a sunset as long as you're away from the mosquitos.'
So said the Nesra bot. That's one of her quips. It's sort of like her job, to barge into Reddit threads and post faux-deep, sophistic quotes. Sometimes she gets upvoted. Usually, she gets death threats, much to the chagrin of /r/BotsRights. And why shouldn't she? She's just a bot whose purpose is to annoy people.
That little quip went onto a news article about how the sun looked deep red in Indonesia following the eruption of some volcano. 44 upvotes, 17 downvotes. But it's only a few minutes old, so I'm not surprised. Usually, she nets upwards of twenty thousand upvotes, as long as you give her a day.
But can I show you something? Here! This beauty is the Nesra bot. It's a curious thing, isn't it? And not only can you enjoy her sleek form, but you can also bet that I've gone down in the Reddit history books for having the first ever "real" Reddit bot. She doesn't just post her computer poems on Reddit— she knows how to write them down.
"Nesra, come 'ere!" I handed her a ballpoint pen and told her to generate one of her world famous poems. It took her a few seconds, but her mind found the optimal course of words and her jerky hands laid it out on my notepad.
'Sunshine is like rain for a sunny day. Rain is like sunshine for a cloudy day.'
I didn't quite understand what she was getting at, but it did make sense. That's what I loved about these bots— when I was a kid in college, I'd mess around with content creating bots. It was considered an event when one scrounged together a legible sentence. The few that actually seemed to make sense were blessed with thousands of upvotes.
But now, bots know how to string together words into meaningful sentences like it's child's play. It's still very stilted— just last week, I tried using Nesra to write a short story to post to /r/WritingPrompts, and while it was functional, it was only just. You could tell that a human being was not responsible for the story, as logical sequences came at bizarre moments and dialogue felt unnatural.
Still, compared to what came before, she might as well have written Shakespeare.
IRL, I get a few questions. And I do love showing her off to the folks at Christmas.
She rolled over to me and gave me another poem. I read it and smiled.
'If humans could fly like birds, we would be sooner smother ourselves to death with our own wings.'
I stood up and grinned at her. "What, are you saying you're a human now?"
She heard my words, but she gave a very chatbot response— "I am not a human. Humans are of the genus Homo and the species Sapiens. I am made of plastic and carbon fiber."
She said this before whenever she tried using "We" or "Our" in reference to humans. It made me wonder sometimes, but she wasn't there yet. None of them were.
So I took the letter and pat her on her head. My cat rubbed against her right as she began rolling away. What may not exist in that brain now will in only a few years, and I can't wait.
I looked back at the poem and reflected upon it.
After a few moments, I went, "What?"
Because no matter how you slice it, these poems still sound like they were written by a robot.