Great news about the time manipulation thing. Really great news. I was stumbling around on the web looking for something completely different and I discovered this page. A bit technical in places, but the gist is that the principles of quantum superposition imply that what you want the Lykarians to do might be physically possible. But there are problems. The big one is it's probabilistic, not definite. There's only a small chance of any noticeable effect, let alone the desired effect. But we've controlled other quantum effects before, so maybe??? I think? I really have no idea. Quantum mechanics is confusing. I've got to teach myself the basics. Second problem: such a machine couldn't effect external systems, so the Lykarians would probably be limited to using it on themselves. Third: the article ominously states that "the gravitation time translation device which they describe is a thought experiment only and is not feasible in today's physics laboratory" which makes it hard to see how it's feasible in a Lykarian body.
Also, the URDF would still make a huge effort on the scale of the Manhattan Project to build machines capable of replicating this effect, because what self-respecting military wouldn't want to control the passage of time on the battlefield?
Fair points. When I first wrote this, it was very superficial and not deeply thought out. As I've progressed with actual story writing significantly since then, I have a better understanding of the intricacies and details that are necessary to make something as controversial as terrorism both believable and interesting.
Yeah, I've gathered that a lot of my comments have become "stale" and no longer really apply--but is the timeline itself going to be updated at some point? Looking forward to it!
Admittedly I'm still fairly new to story writing in general, so I have no illusions that the imperfection and naivety needs to be banged out.
Oh, if you're still new that's good. It means every chapter you write is better than the last. Only downside is that you'll get a few tens of thousands of words in and realize that what you've written is a mess, start over from scratch, realize that what you've written is a less bad mess but still a mess, start over, and so on. I'm on my third try with Synthetic and it's gone from fanfiction-quality a year ago to meh half a year ago to decent now (I hope?).
Obviously, our views on many ideas and topics vary to some degree, but I do appreciate all the effort you've put in towards giving me critiques all the same. It's helped me think on some of the issues we've discussed
Glad I could help! It's been fun and I've definitely learned loads doing all the research I've done for my critiques. Definitely you've built a world with a lot of potential, otherwise I doubt I would've
(I occasionally also wanted to reach through the monitor and strangle you, but I managed to keep my cool, lol).
I hope I haven't been too much of a dick, I've tried not to be
Like I said if you send me a message with your email or something I can send you the first chapter or two of Choices That Define to give you a taste of a better refined PRAXIS.
That might help, especially if it addresses any of the specific notes I've written here.
Oh and, http://readingwithavengeance.com/ takes apart stories with a lot of detail, so it could be good for seeing what works and what doesn't wrt plotting, characterization, and worldbuilding.