Jump to content

Welcome to FutureTimeline.forum
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

News Ass

weird strange funny news WTF Florida Man Darwin Awards simulation Matrix going insane

  • Please log in to reply
297 replies to this topic

#261
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

Iceland is officially worshiping Norse Gods again

For the first time since the Vikings sailed, the Icelandic public are worshiping classical Norse gods like Odin, Thor, and Frigg at a public temple built in their honor. "The worship of Odin, Thor, Freya and the other gods of the old Norse pantheon became an officially recognized religion exactly 973 years after Iceland’s official conversion to Christianity."
 
An Icelandic association called Asatruarfelagid, which promotes faith in the Norse gods and is headed by high-priest Hilmar Orn Hilmarsson, raised sufficient funds and received permission from the government to construct the first such temple in 1,000 years. Observers wonder how the rise of neo-pagan traditions will affect the reception of Christianity.


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#262
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

Bomb sniffing cyborg locusts can now successfully detect explosives

The bad guys wanted to blow something up — but they forgot about the cyborg bugs...

lzg6CPC.jpg


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#263
wjfox

wjfox

    Administrator

  • Administrators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,887 posts
  • LocationLondon
Trump ‘spiritual adviser’ tells followers to skip paying electric bills so they can send her church more cash
 
February 17, 2020
 
Paula White, a prosperity gospel minister who serves as President Donald Trump’s “spiritual adviser,” apparently believes her followers should live in the dark to help keep the lights on at her church.
 
A lengthy report on White by Mother Jones reveals that the Trump-loving preacher recently told followers at her Supernatural Ministry School in Miami that they could secure God’s favor by sending her church as much money as possible — even if that meant skipping their monthly electric bills.
 
In particular, White said that followers who send their money to Florida Power and Light (FPL) every month instead of giving it to her church are treating the electric company better than they treat God.
 
“Instead of writing [that check] to the house of God as I’m instructed to, then what I’m saying spiritually is, ‘FPL, I have now established a spiritual law that put you first,'” White explained to her flock. “So, FPL, save my family, FPL, deliver my drug addicted son. FPL, kill this cancer that doctors say is in my body.”
 
White, who opened the National Day of Prayer Event at the White House in 2017 and who has just landed an official job at the White House, has drawn criticism from many Christians over the years, including her business in which she sells believers “resurrection seeds” that will grant them eternal life for the low price of just $1,144.
 
 
 
PEuQBGq.png


#264
Cyber_Rebel

Cyber_Rebel

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 348 posts
  • LocationNew York

So I'm just scrolling know your meme, and come across this. I kept telling myself this was fake, it had to be fake news. Dumb photo-shopping bitches. But no, oh no... not in this charmingly whackadoo timeline:

 

MAGA Hat-Wearing Pigeons Flock To Las Vegas, Continue Harmful Trend

 

maga.jpg

 

 

Outed as a harmful trend in December, pigeons with hats glued to their heads have once again descended on the city of Las Vegas, this time with a political message: Make America Great Again.

Earlier this week, a group calling itself "P.U.T.I.N.," an acronym for Pigeons United To Interfere Now, claimed responsibility for an army of pigeons wearing red MAGA hats that were released the night before the Democratic debate on February 19th.

 

Legit news source: https://www.vice.com...s-so-much-worse

 

Video: https://twitter.com/...nd-on-las-vegas

 

One with a Trump toupee glued to its head:  https://twitter.com/...nd-on-las-vegas

 

Sad video of removing the glued on hat: https://www.instagra...source=ig_embed

 

 

Surest proof I've ever needed that this is all a simulation that has gone well past its run time. 



#265
Outlook

Outlook

    Arab Muslim

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,351 posts
  • LocationBarbary Lands

Sorry for posting more anti-trump circlejerk here, but

 

Trump doctor hid cauliflower in mashed potatoes to improve diet: report

https://thehill.com/...to-improve-diet

 

President Trump’s former doctor reportedly hid cauliflower in his mashed potatoes in an attempt to improve the president’s diet.Former White House physician Ronny Jackson told The New York Times that he regretted leaving his position before he could implement the diet and exercise regimen planned for Trump.“The exercise stuff never took off as much as I wanted it to,” he said. “But we were working on his diet. We were making the ice cream less accessible, we were putting cauliflower into the mashed potatoes.”


Outlook's secret song of the ~week: https://youtu.be/Gnyr3sbdKkU

#266
wjfox

wjfox

    Administrator

  • Administrators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,887 posts
  • LocationLondon

https://twitter.com/...389199267061763

 

 

zddz8zW.jpg



#267
wjfox

wjfox

    Administrator

  • Administrators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,887 posts
  • LocationLondon

Pastor Rick Wiles Says Coronavirus Will Stop If China Accepts Jesus

about 13 hours ago

Rick Wiles is a lot of things: pastor, conspiracy theorist, radio host and bigot.

In a new conspiracy theory, Wiles says the coronavirus will end once the Chinese people accept Jesus and addresses Xi Jinping, general secretary of the Communist Party of China. In a video posted on his website, he says the following:

https://god.dailydot...onavirus-jesus/



#268
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

Astronomers have announced that Earth has a new mini-moon, a small asteroid apparently captured into Earth orbit 3 years ago

Reddit destroyed the website, so let me just say that our new moonlet is as big as a compact car.


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#269
wjfox

wjfox

    Administrator

  • Administrators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,887 posts
  • LocationLondon
Joe Lycett: Comedian changes his name to Hugo Boss
 
Comedian Joe Lycett has legally changed his name to Hugo Boss, in a protest against the German fashion company.
 
The company, who often style themselves as "Boss", have been sending cease-and-desist letters to small businesses and charities who are also using the word "boss" in their names.
 
"It's clear that Hugo Boss hates people using their name," Lycett wrote on Twitter.
 
The BBC has asked Hugo Boss, the company, for a comment.
 
"Unfortunately for them this week I legally changed my name by deed poll and I am now officially known as Hugo Boss," Lycett added, alongside photographic evidence of his name change.
 
 
:lol:


#270
wjfox

wjfox

    Administrator

  • Administrators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,887 posts
  • LocationLondon

Burning calories: pig starts farm fire by excreting pedometer

Sun 8 Mar 2020 07.29 GMT

Firefighters in North Yorkshire have tackled a blaze that broke out after a pig swallowed a pedometer which then combusted in its pen after excretion.

The fire crews were called to a blaze covering 75 square metres at four pigpens in Bramham, near Leeds, on Saturday afternoon.

The North Yorkshire fire and rescue service said the fire was caused by “nature taking its course” and copper from the pedometer battery reacting with dry hay and the pigpen’s contents.

The pedometer was being used to prove the animal was free range and had been taken off one of its fellow pigs.

No animals were harmed as a result of the fire.

https://www.theguard...eting-pedometer



#271
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

0jmWOMV.png


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#272
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

Coronavirus conference cancelled due to coronavirus

So much for keeping business rolling during the coronavirus pandemic.
 
 
The Council on Foreign Relations has canceled a roundtable called “Doing Business Under Coronavirus” scheduled for Friday in New York due to the spread of the infection itself. CFR has also canceled other in-person conferences that were scheduled from March 11 to April 3, including roundtables in New York and Washington and national events around the U.S.
 
 
The CFR’s confabs are joining a long list of canceled or postponed gatherings, including the annual New York auto show. The Greater New York Automobile Dealers Association said Tuesday that the car show will be rescheduled to late August.
 
 
Events in metro New York are coming under close scrutiny due to an increase in cases in the city and, in particular, an outbreak in the suburb of New Rochelle. The National Guard will be sent to the town to help close public gathering spaces in an effort to slow the spread of the outbreak, Governor Andrew Cuomo said at a press conference.


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#273
wjfox

wjfox

    Administrator

  • Administrators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,887 posts
  • LocationLondon

Bridlington arcade owner fills grabber machine with loo roll

10 Mar 2020

The owner of an amusement arcade in Bridlington has replaced soft toys with toilet rolls in one of his grabber machines.

Eddy Chapman came up with the idea after seeing people stocking up on the bathroom staple because of coronavirus concerns.

Mr Chapman said one couple had travelled more than 60 miles to play the grabber.

https://www.bbc.co.u...e-with-loo-roll

 

 

qM22O8R.jpg



#274
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

Jazz star Rudy Gobert joked about coronavirus by touching microphones, days before testing positive for coronavirus.


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#275
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

Hundreds of ravenous wild monkeys terrorise Thai city in search of food after coronavirus drives tourists away


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#276
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

Jocu3Px.png


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#277
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

The Masked Singer: Sarah Palin In A Fursuit Embodies The Surreal Horror Of 2020

za5qtfU.jpg
 


Palin went on to explain how the fuzzy bear costume made her feel strangely comfortable, stating: “To not be able to see much of anything out of this is really nice. It takes the sharp edges off the world. Everything looks a little softer, nicer. I needed this.”

Sarah Palin is a furry and it's 2020 AD


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#278
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

FEBRUARY 7TH

 

https://twitter.com/...864240742981634

U0GNKcc.png


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#279
Yuli Ban

Yuli Ban

    Born Again Singularitarian

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,889 posts
  • LocationNew Orleans, LA

Miss Hitler contestant and her boyfriend convicted on terror charges

A young Yorkshire woman and her boyfriend, who worshipped Adolf Hitler and wanted to start a race war, have been convicted on terrorism charges.
Alice Cutter, 23, from Sowerby Bridge, even entered a Miss Hitler alternative beauty competition and shared an obsession for guns and knives with her partner Mark Jones.

The pair were found guilty of being members of the banned far-right group National Action after a retrial at Birmingham Crown Court.
They were convicted alongside another two young men Garry Jack, 24, from Castle Bromwich, Birmingham and Connor Scothern, 19, from Nottingham.

3MzjmZW.jpg
Alice Cutter told the trial she was persuaded to enter a Miss Hitler competition to help boost the profile of National Action


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#280
wjfox

wjfox

    Administrator

  • Administrators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,887 posts
  • LocationLondon

wpHrMBq.jpg







Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: weird, strange, funny, news, WTF, Florida Man, Darwin Awards, simulation, Matrix, going insane

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users