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News Ass

weird strange funny news WTF Florida Man Darwin Awards simulation Matrix going insane

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#41
wjfox

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Car crashes onto house roof in China

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk...-china-39242984



#42
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#43
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#44
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Europe’s first sex robot brothel FORCED OUT of base as prostitutes complain of competition

 

http://www.express.c...complain-police

 

NSFW (obviously)



#45
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#46
Pisiu369

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Well, uhh. That would certainly increase the Government Budget if you know what I mean.



#47
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C7ZwYTYXQAAGuXr.jpg

 

I'm confused. So Obama introduced Obamacare which helped 20 Million people gain healthcare. But then Trump repealed it and 24 Million lost healthcare.

Where did the 4 million come from?



#48
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Where did the 4 million come from?

Liberal fake news probably.



#49
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Jared Kushner is building a skyscraper and, well, it looks like a dick

There's just really no other way to say this.
 
President Trump's son-in-law/advisor/what-is-his-actual-title-in-the-White-House? Jared Kushner is working to build a massive skyscraper at 666 Fifth Avenue in New York City. 
Yes, 666. The mark of the beast, 666. 
*Allow moment for incredible irony to sink in.*

C7dTfVJXwAA3v47.jpg

This. Is perfect.

 

"The giant penis building located at 666 Fifth Avenue, New York, owned by the President of the United States's son-in-law."


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#50
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A drunk man was arrested for knocking over Silicon Valley’s crime-fighting robot

The future is going to be full of robots, which might be exciting or depressing depending on your viewpoint. The future is also going to be full of drunk people tackling said robots for fun, which is going to be very funny right up until the point corporations pass robot hate crime laws in order to protect their property. Then it’ll be depressing.
But hey, while we’re still at the funny stage, why not enjoy the news that last week in Mountain View, a drunk man was arrested after knocking over a 300-pound security robot, the Knightscope K5. If the name sounds familiar, it’s because a different Knightscope K5 was previously in the news for running over a toddler’s foot. So, maybe this is just payback? Robo-human wars have to star somewhere I guess.

One day soon, this won't be in "News Ass". But until that day comes, WTF, so apparently this happened.


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#51
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'Overly obese' body sparks Ohio funeral home fire

A crematorium in Ohio caught fire while burning the remains of an "overly obese" body, according to the owner.

Don Catchen said the corpse caused flames to engulf one of his units in the city of Cincinnati.

The fat in the body burned at a higher temperature, prompting the blaze, said the city fire chief.

The blog Confessions of a Funeral Director describes a blaze resulting from the cremation of a morbidly obese person as a "grease fire".

http://www.bbc.co.uk...canada-39735904


_95816736_a9b0d88e-e488-403a-a598-16cf4f



#52
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^I've heard of this happening before.



#53
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I'm confused. So Obama introduced Obamacare which helped 20 Million people gain healthcare. But then Trump repealed it and 24 Million lost healthcare.

Where did the 4 million come from?

 

 

Easy. The 4 million are those who already had health insurance before Obamacare was introduced and passed into law.

 

It actually means less people will have insurance than before ACA. Makes Trump (and Republicans in general) look even worse politically.


What are you without the sum of your parts?

#54
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People are marrying themselves, it's called 'sologamy'

If the secret to a happy marriage is finding the right person, we can all stop looking. At least, according to "sologamists." They're part of a growing relationship trend, in which people are tying the knot to themselves.
 
Erika Anderson is one of them.
 
“I would describe it as women saying yes to themselves,” Anderson said. “It means that we are enough, even if we are not partnered with someone else."
 
In many ways, the 37-year-old bride looked like any other on her wedding day. She wore a white dress and had a bouquet. Anderson looked stunning with the Brooklyn bridge and New York City skyline behind her.

WE'VE REACHED THE AGE OF THE BEAUTIFUL ONES


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#55
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The Church of Satan is distancing itself from Donald Trump

The Church of Satan has come out to make clear that Donald Trump is not one of them.
On a visit to Saudi Arabia, the first official foreign trip of the Trump Administration, the president was photographed alongside King Salman bin Albdulaziz Al Saud and President of Egypt Abdel Fattah el-Sisi* touching this orb. Also present was Malaysia's Prime Minister Najib Razak.
The photo was taken on a tour of Riyadh's Global Center for Combatting Extremist Ideology.
The group were photographed reacting to a wall of computer screens coming online.


If Satan doesn't want him and God can't stand him, there's only one other option...

Spoiler


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#56
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It must be rail love: Woman, 45, claims she is 'married' to a train station - which she has sex with 'in her mind' - after first falling for the building 36 years ago

25 May 2017

A woman has 'married' a train station and claims they have spent 36 years in love with one another

Carol Santa Fe, 45, from San Diego, California, says she fell for Santa Fe train station when she was nine years old.

Although the union is not legally binding, she 'tied the knot' with the building in 2015 - and celebrated their one year anniversary last Christmas.

Ms Santa Fe says she has 'sex' with the station mentally and identifies herself as an objectum sexual - a person who is sexually attracted to inanimate objects and structures.

http://www.dailymail...Fe-station.html


sVZeItO.jpg



#57
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It must be rail love: Woman, 45, claims she is 'married' to a train station - which she has sex with 'in her mind' - after first falling for the building 36 years ago

Wat

#58
sara amber

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Hahaha. This officially made my day. Like literally. I can't deal..haha :brunette:



#59
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The DUP wants to regulate the sale of Ouija boards

Responding on Monday, Liberal Democrat MP Jo Swinson from the department said that the government has no plans to regulate the sale of the items.
 
Ouija Boards, also known as a ‘spirit board’ or ‘talking board’, is marked with the letters of the alphabet, the numbers 0-9 and the words yes and no.
 
According to the 1998 book ‘American Folklore: An encyclopedia’, it was regarded as an innocent parlour game with no associations with the occult until Spiritualist Pearl Curran popularised its use as a divining tool during the First World War.

From 2015, mind you. Still stupid.


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#60
nomad

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The Church of Satan is distancing itself from Donald Trump

The Church of Satan has come out to make clear that Donald Trump is not one of them.
On a visit to Saudi Arabia, the first official foreign trip of the Trump Administration, the president was photographed alongside King Salman bin Albdulaziz Al Saud and President of Egypt Abdel Fattah el-Sisi* touching this orb. Also present was Malaysia's Prime Minister Najib Razak.
The photo was taken on a tour of Riyadh's Global Center for Combatting Extremist Ideology.
The group were photographed reacting to a wall of computer screens coming online.


If Satan doesn't want him and God can't stand him, there's only one other option...

Spoiler

 

 

 

Church of Satan releases statement clarifying their commentary on the Orb Incident

http://news.churchof...r-new-clothes-a

 

 

 

Allow Us To Compliment Your New Clothes 

A commentary on public bias and reactions   

We Satanists are observers of the human condition and have grown used to seeing people applying their own biases and politics to unrelated topics, obfuscating a clear perception of the issues as they are shoehorned into preconceived, ill-fitting paradigms. To combat such distortion, we advocate a “third side” perspective—challenging the widely accepted notion that there are two sides to every story. Recent events have provided a somewhat perfect hellstorm of examples that are worth further exploration: US President Trump’s Saudi Orb visit and the image of comedian Kathy Griffin holding Trump’s fake severed head. Headlines in competing political arenas suggested the Church of Satan quickly denounced both Trump and Griffin. These are calculated controversial soundbites that quickly spread far and wide, but neither is entirely accurate.


Cats.






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