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The Future of the Wurfians

Wurf Wurfians Little People news

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156 replies to this topic

#141
caltrek

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89345260_10222035133932682_1239414603985

"I'm going to the store, do you want anything?"


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#142
caltrek

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qljml2lvi2n41.jpg


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#143
caltrek

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^^^Caption reads:

 

"Heyyy Ladies! Whatcha up to?"

 

"Watching season 2020 of earth, shit is getting wild." 


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#144
caltrek

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90470936_2502705403285978_78433908928020

 

Caption reads:  Many parents are just about to discover that the teacher was not the problem. :) 


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#145
caltrek

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90297387_3103845039628015_59017956117614

Caption reads: First time in history we can save the human race by laying in front of the T.V. and doing nothing. Lets not screw this up.


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#146
caltrek

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91006692_1962410200558889_59251982872619

I'm so excited it's time to take out the garbage. I wonder what I should wear?


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#147
caltrek

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The Wurf Secretary of the Treasury made a startling announcement today: 

 

We are going off the gold standard. Instead, we will now be on the toilet paper standard.  We realized that the problem with our old currency was all of the toxic chemicals we used in printing our currency.  So we decided to stop printing. Then we realized that you still couldn't use the paper as toilet paper because it will block your toilet up (for those fortunate enough to actually have toilets) so converting to toilet paper became the obvious choice.  Moreover, we note a spike in demand for toilet paper across the planet, so this should help to strengthen the Wurfian currency.   

 

Another reason for going off the gold standard is that we actually don't have any gold.  Except of course in the land of the Munchkins, where the streets are actually paved in gold.  Still, the Wizard of Id is adamant that they will not allow their streets to be torn up to supply other Wurfs with gold.  

 

More at eleven.


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#148
caltrek

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voggo.jpg

 

The Enterprise explores the the stupidity singularity.


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#149
caltrek

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This was found by a friend I met a long time ago while conversing in the land of the Wurfs.  She speaks with a decidedly British accent.

 

90795533_10158444768580827_5955470080052

 

Hey, remember like last summer when we found the mummy in the black sarcophagus that was never supposed to be open and Egypt's director of antiquities was like "well, we opened it and the world hasn't fallen into darkness yet." 

 

Anyway, I'm sure it's fine.   


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#150
caltrek

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91215860_3279240852090508_62515732386320

 

Dinosaur holding a sign saying: "Extinction sucks!!  #Stay home."  


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#151
caltrek

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As you all know....well, ok, maybe you don't all know.  At any rate, what I was about to say was that there is an inverse relationship between how things are going in the Land of the Wurfs and how things are on the rest of planet earth.  Experts in international relations hold that this is due to our exploitation of Wurfians.  When things go badly for us, we are less able to exploit the poor little guys.  Moreover, there is a greater return of diaspora in such troubled times as former emigrants seek to return home.

 

Psychologists believe that it has more to do with escapism.  The worse things get, the more energy is devoted to the Land of Wurfs, the better life becomes for them.

 

Ok, experts in international relations and psychologists don't really say such things.  I just made all of that up.

 

At any rate, things do seem to be on the upswing here in the Land of the Wurfs.  Toilet paper factories are working overtime to provide an ample supply of the new currency, which as you may recall is in fact toilet paper.  This is in line with the recent abandonment of the gold standard.  Exports of toilet paper have also improved the balance of trade situation. 

 

The strike of the elves is finally over.  In line with the negotiated settlement, Santa Claus has agreed to make a special delivery of gifts and presents to all Wurf kind.  He has even agreed to dispense with the usual "naughty or nice" criteria as this subjective judgment had proven to be a source of great friction and resentment.  Merry Xmas to all, and to all a good night.  

 

Yes, yes, I know that it is March, but Santa told me to say that.


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#152
caltrek

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91147777_2941057262597103_74668684057950

 

 

March 2020. In like a lion, out like a wild apocalyptic four headed green...dragon...lion...six-legged doom beast.


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#153
caltrek

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Well, I see that one set of Wurfs finally made the headlines. I am referring of course to Little Green Men.  You know, those guys that fly around in what we call UFOs acting like there is no such thing as gravity and otherwise showing off in the most shameless of ways. Apparently, they have been trying to get the attention of the U.S. Air Force for quite some time now.  They have tried to communicate in every way that they can imagine, from simple sub-quantum five dimensional video stream to super-warp high frequency radionics.  Nothing seemed to elicit a response.

 

In desperation, they finally turned to the Ewoks, who have quite a bit of experience in such things.  The Ewoks suggested monitoring simple radio and television communications.  That was good for a laugh. “Nobody is so primitive that they would rely on radio and television wavelengths” proclaimed the human contact project director, so that option was not explored.

 

So, the Ewoks then suggested a more direct approach.  Perhaps if they simply flew circles around the slower moving air craft that would at least get their attention. So after decades of trying that technique, the Little Green Men shrank away in despair.  Occasionally, there might be some obvious effort by humans to investigate, but no real attempt at communication or acknowledgement in what the Little Green Men considered to be an appropriate manner.

 

In the course of such efforts to interact with humans, they discovered something that was initially quite surprising:  they were not alone.  That is to say that there was another alien race from outside the solar system that was also spying on humans.  Although this other species had very advanced stealth technology, the little green men were finally able to detect their presence.  At least, that is how the Little Green Men recall this bit of history.  The other alien race insists that they were not deliberately utilizing stealth technology, it was just that their vessels moved around so fast that it was very difficult for the Little Green Men to get a fix on their craft, and thus be able to identify them as being of alien origin.

 

The other thing about these other aliens was there striking similarity in appearance to the Little Green Men.  The major difference being the color of their skin and their average height.  These other aliens were much taller than the Little Green Men.  Like the Little Green Men, they also had very big eyes, were bi-pedal, and had two arms.  This led the Little Green men to speculate that perhaps these other aliens were distantly related to the Little Green Men.  Ancient Little Green Men folklore had it that the home world of the Little Green Men was actually not where they originated.  Rather a very ancient fleet of spaceships were said to have delivered a small colony to what became the home world of the Little Green Men.  According to this folklore, the commander of this fleet was a Little Green Man named Noahman. Perhaps these taller aliens were related to that race of original settlers.

 

At any rate, an early reaction of some of the Little Green Men was that of anger and fear.  Why were these aliens being so secretive about their presence on Earth?  Did they perhaps have an evil motive in studying not only earthlings but the Little Green Men as well?

 

It took quite some time in negotiations to assuage the fears of the Little Green Men.  The tall aliens assured them that their studies of planet Earth were nearly complete and that they would be on their way.  “We were just interested in studying the microbiome found in the anal cavities of typical homo sapiens”  they explained.  “We believe we now have enough samples to complete our research project”.”

 

At first, this explanation was met with skepticism by the Little Green Men.  Yet, true to their word, the Little Green Men detected a mass exodus of ships piloted by the tall aliens. While still in communication with the tall aliens, the Little Green Men asked if the tall aliens had any suggestions as to how to communicate with the human inhabitants of the planet.

 

“Just start monitoring their radio and television communications” advised the tall aliens.  “Their language is easy enough to understand and it shouldn’t take you very long to figure it out.”

  

 As with the advice from the Ewoks, the Little Green Men laughed and assumed that the tall aliens were merely joking. Everybody knows, they reasoned, that no civilization is so primitive that they would rely on things like radio transmissions to communicate with each other. So, once again, they failed to take this advice. 

Of course, all of these communication issues were quite frustrating to the Little Green Men.  After all, they had no trouble communicating with the whales or the dolphins.  It was just these land based mammals that proved to be such a difficult challenge.  


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#154
caltrek

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President Thump has joined with other political leaders in warning his people about the evils of antifa.  Even grandparents are not above suspicion. Here, are some signs that those grandparents may actually in fact be a part of this radical and subversive movement.  Presented by no less an authority than the Washington Post.

 

Know The Signs: How to tell if your grandparent has become an antifa agent

 

https://www.washingt...source=facebook

 

Extract:

 

(Washington Post) She belongs to a decentralized group with no leadership structure that claims to be discussing a “book,” but no one ever reads the book and all they seem to do is drink wine.

 

Is always talking on the phone with an “aunt” you have never actually met in person. Aunt TIFA????

 

….Keeps forwarding you what appear on the surface to be emails of jokes someone has typed out from a Reader’s Digest; claims to think you would “enjoy”; must be some sort of recruitment or propaganda or hidden message.

 

…Remembers things from the past in incredible, exhausting detail, but recent ones only sporadically? Cover of some kind.

 

She claims not to know how to use her phone, yet always appears upside-down on FaceTime, which should be impossible without hacking capabilities.


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#155
Raklian

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The Red Scare tactics all over again, eh?


What are you without the sum of your parts?

#156
caltrek

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^^^^Well, why let a perfectly good scare go to waste.

 

Which reminds me that I have not yet told the story of the infiltration of Wurfian society by little red devils.  But I digress.

 

At any rate, caltrek news is in receipt of some leaked documents from the Little Green Men (LGM). It concerns attempts to establish communications between the LGMs and humans here on earth.  It seems that one of these experiments involved use of mind meld techniques borrowed from the home planet of the Vulcans.  To their horror, when such mind melding was attempted one of two results occurred.  Either the subjects became extreme schizophrenics, or zombies.  What I mean by zombies is that they lost all control of their internal mental functions and became virtual slaves of the LGM.  The experiments were discontinued as the LGMs had little interest in enslaving humanity.  


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls


#157
caltrek

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Panic reports reached caltrek news today about an earthquake in an area neighboring the Lilliputian province.  The resulting tsunami "must have reached at least eight inches in height" reported one excited eye witness. Such a wave would be sufficiently large to destroy many a coastal Lilliputian structure. The Lilliputian parliament immediately convened to consider the reports.

 

"Is there any way we can blame this on the Wizard of Odd?" one parliamentarian is reported to have suggest.  Many in parliament have been quite upset because of the Wizard's refusal to share any gold with fellow Wurfian provinces. 

 

A committee of prominent Lilliputian legislators was formed to look into possible damages caused by the tsunami event.  One thousand rolls of toilet paper were immediately allocated to the investigative effort.


The principles of justice define an appropriate path between dogmatism and intolerance on the one side, and a reductionism which regards religion and morality as mere preferences on the other.   - John Rawls






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