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Breaking News: Russia Found Responsible for Every Case of War, Missing Children, Election Rigging, Rape of Animals, J-Walking in All Human History

russia evil propaganda satire

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#1
Recyvuym

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Sources within the CIA today confirmed that Russia, not greed or money, is the root of all evil.

 

"We can't actually show you any evidence," said one trustworthy intelligence operative to the equally trustworthy liberal media, as it has demonstrated over the past months throughout the election cycle. "But you can absolutely trust us. We only have the best interests of America at heart. I masturbate crying into an American flag every night, and I am telling you: everything that's wrong in the world is Russia's fault."

 

Anonymous sources then went on to insist the FBI, Elvis Presley and Satan were all collaborating with Putin to destroy freedom and happiness everywhere for all people. Russia is known to be the nexus of horror in our otherwise peaceful and well-run world, and the denizens of this icy hell are known to venerate their dark gods by sacrificing small children to superbears genetically engineered by the KGB. The Kremlin is also believed to be responsible for stealing what would otherwise be fair US elections, as well as every sock that goes missing from your laundry.

 

A gentle old lady once travelled to Moscow to bring the much sought-after secrets of US peace and democracy to its people. They lowered her feet-first into a meat grinder and distilled her body into vodka. All cultures are of course equal, but there is little question among experts that Russia needs to be reduced to a radioactive wasteland. Glass. Parking. Lot.

 

Readers are kindly advised not to forget that the Two-Minute Hate begins at 9:30am this morning, assault weapons and live ammunition will be on sale with which to shoot effigies of Putin. Free entry for kids under 12. Remember that rioting is patriotic as long as you do it for Hillary.


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#2
Astralator

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lelouch_laugh__gif_by_bluefeatherraven-d


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#3
joe00uk

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Damn, this is gold.


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#4
TranscendingGod

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#5
Mike the average

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What a joke his end of year conference is. Its an embarassing speech and only plays in to the hands of everything that is already wrong with US foreign affairs.
'Force always attracts men of low morality' - Einstein
'Great spirits always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds' - Einstein

#6
TranscendingGod

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I don't actually know how much you are actually trying to deny with this post. I know you ridicule the anonymity of the sources and the lack of public disclosure with the CIA but this is nothing new on behalf of the intelligence agency. The FBI has now agreed with the conclusion.
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The growth of computation is doubly exponential growth. 


#7
Yuli Ban

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Reminds me of the Onion. Back in 2007, they released this nifty book, Our Dumb World.

iraq-753827.JPG


  • joe00uk and Recyvuym like this

And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#8
wjfox

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Sources within the CIA today confirmed that Russia, not greed or money, is the root of all evil.

 

"We can't actually show you any evidence," said one trustworthy intelligence operative to the equally trustworthy liberal media, as it has demonstrated over the past months throughout the election cycle. "But you can absolutely trust us. We only have the best interests of America at heart. I masturbate crying into an American flag every night, and I am telling you: everything that's wrong in the world is Russia's fault."

 

Anonymous sources then went on to insist the FBI, Elvis Presley and Satan were all collaborating with Putin to destroy freedom and happiness everywhere for all people. Russia is known to be the nexus of horror in our otherwise peaceful and well-run world, and the denizens of this icy hell are known to venerate their dark gods by sacrificing small children to superbears genetically engineered by the KGB. The Kremlin is also believed to be responsible for stealing what would otherwise be fair US elections, as well as every sock that goes missing from your laundry.

 

A gentle old lady once travelled to Moscow to bring the much sought-after secrets of US peace and democracy to its people. They lowered her feet-first into a meat grinder and distilled her body into vodka. All cultures are of course equal, but there is little question among experts that Russia needs to be reduced to a radioactive wasteland. Glass. Parking. Lot.

 

Readers are kindly advised not to forget that the Two-Minute Hate begins at 9:30am this morning, assault weapons and live ammunition will be on sale with which to shoot effigies of Putin. Free entry for kids under 12. Remember that rioting is patriotic as long as you do it for Hillary.

 

 

L24cy.gif
 



#9
TheComrade

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I know, this thread was created for lulz, but reality can sometimes be no less grotesque... Here are the SERIOUS news from respectable Western media... the orwellian news for braindead readers:

 

Russia may organise migrant sex attacks in Europe to make Angela Merkel lose German elections, EU experts claim

 

Russia 'trying to destabilise' Germany by stoking unrest over migrants, warn spy chiefs

 

 

Vladimir Putin 'could order Cologne-style attacks' on women to destabilise Germany. The secret services in Russia and Syria may encourage refugees to carry out orchestrated sex attacks on German women in a sick bid to oust Angela Merkel from office, it’s been claimed.

 

What can i say? Now you know the truth, my German friends. So if (spare you God!) you will ever have any troubles with migrants, do not blame them. Blame instead the Putin's agents who have cheated these friendly and chivalrous but naive guys & encouraged them to misbehave.


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#10
Yuli Ban

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Replace "Putin" with "Goldstein" and it's perfect . 


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#11
BasilBerylium

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Replace "Putin" with "Goldstein" and it's perfect . 

 

 

You mean Trump


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#12
caltrek

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Those of you who find the huge inequality of wealth on this planet to be disturbing might find this interesting.

 

Is Vladimir Putin Secretly the World's Richest Man?

 

http://www.msn.com/en-za/news/world/is-vladimir-putin-secretly-the-worlds-richest-man/ar-BBoKY7w

 

Extract"

 

That Vladimir Putin may also secretly be, by far, the world’s richest man will come as a shock to many.

 

While Putin describes himself as a modest man, with a 2014 income of a mere 7.65 million roubles – £83,000, property which consists of two not over-large apartments and a share in a car parking garage, some claim in reality he has a staggering fortune. Estimates range from £28billion to £140billion.

 

A gigantic sum, that, if true, would make him the wealthiest man in the world. The £140billion, claimed by Putin critic and hedge fund manager Bill Browder, is more than twice the fortune of Microsoft founder Bill Gates.


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#13
Yuli Ban

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Replace "Putin" with "Goldstein" and it's perfect . 

 

You mean Trump

It can't be Trump because he's the President. By extension, he'd have to be Big Brother. Not now, but soon.


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#14
BasilBerylium

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Replace "Putin" with "Goldstein" and it's perfect . 

 

You mean Trump

It can't be Trump because he's the President. By extension, he'd have to be Big Brother. Not now, but soon.

 

then The Pope


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#15
Yuli Ban

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The Pope isn't being blamed for all of the West's evils and misfortunes right now. He's not the mastermind behind "saboteurs and terrorists" who aim to undermine our society at all levels.


And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.


#16
BasilBerylium

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Then the Rothschilds

(this is going to continue)


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#17
Yuli Ban

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2 MINUTES HATE


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And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.






Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: russia, evil, propaganda, satire

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