TG, love is the of the noblest and purest forms of human expression that a human can ever experience. As visceral and devastating as it can be it is pure in the sense that love is truly selfless and altruistic in nature. If anything gives hope to humankind it is our ability to love, which is deeply tied into our ability to empathize. This said, love inexperienced is difficult to understand. I know this from my own experience in relationships over the past few years. If a breakup can be made with the flick of a wrist than it wasn't that deep or loving to begin with, only a form of infatuation. If a rejection throws one into turmoil where no relationship was even had, than only lust is found. In both cases love is nowhere to be seen, it's something greater than both of these things.
In any case there's no sense in overly troubling yourself over it. Guilt is a useless feeling, it accomplishes nor improves a thing and only serves to hold you back. Take whatever time you need to emotionally process whatever happened and then strive to be better and move on
If I completely misread this disregard everything I said. I'm trying to comment based on your grand writing style but I am tired and my puny brain is having trouble comprehending right now tbh.