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The future of a rapping dog... I'm serious

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By looking at the title of this thread, you're probably left with a HUGE "what the fuck?!!!!" response. But let me explain this.


So, one of the animated films about the tragedy of the RMS Titanic boat in 1912, Titanic: The Legend Goes On, is considered one of the worst movies of all time, and is very deserving of this consensus IMO. Well...at least the English dub is...the film was originally released in Italy. Apart from just general bad parts, such as logical inconsistencies, pointless scenes and moments, bad animation, bad editing, bad voice acting, and all of the above, the entire story is flawed in that it tries to portray the sinking of the Titanic under a happy, childish, innocent medium, when it should be looked upon as a horrible tragedy where thousands of passengers died an unfair death. Not only does this animated movie feature actual people like in the real Titanic, but anthropomorphic animals as well.


On the subject of anthropomorphic animals, one of the passengers on the ship is a RAPPING DOG! I am really not kidding with you here, that is not a joke. There is a Titanic movie with a pointless scene focusing on a fucking rapping dog!!! Seriously, what were they thinking here?


First of all, rap as we know it today was not around in the 1910s... Second, even if that did make historical sense, in the scene the dog was rapping for basically no reason, out of nowhere, no context given, and the rap doesn't have any basis on or significance to the story AT ALL! Hell, it doesn't even have any connection to the scene that it's in.



(Videos don't seem to work right now, so if it doesn't work for you, put "BxHNztg0X3s" in v=)


Basically what happens is that, during a family conversation, some mice get attacked by a cat and a small dog. After this, a big gray dog, apparently named Fritz, barks at the cat to scare it away (as apparently the smaller dog just disappeared earlier...huh...). The mice thank the dog for saving them, and all of a sudden, the dog just starts rapping...about it being "party time!" Um...okay... By the way, this dog never appears again! So the dog's only purpose to the story was for this rap number!


My reaction? This is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. I have replayed the above video so many times you wouldn't believe and it never gets unfunny.


So why am I even telling you about this? Why would you, a futurist, care about a rapping dog character in some awful movie you've never heard of?


Well a lot of times I get myself thinking about a future Singularity with the basis on a paperclip maximizer (basically meaning that the AI becomes superintelligent, but has only one overall sole focus in its efforts). My mind REALLY wanders about how many possible things that AI could make the world into. And really the answer is...just about anything! And I present to you here...an entire futuristic society.............based on the rapping dog!


So some AI developer inserts knowledge on the rapping dog character into the central core of a developing ASI's conscience, making it the sole focus of all of existence in its own opinion.


As the AI grows, it begins to focus all its energy into fully understanding this rapping dog character and the scene in which it is shown. In order to do this, it must not only focus on the clip and the movie itself, but gather lots of external knowledge to help in its efforts to understand it.


Let's look at things that needed to happen in order for the rapping dog to have been represented in this work of art:


* Biology

* Evolution into apes

* Apes to neanderthals

* Neanderthals to modern humans (because if humans didn't exist, this certainly wouldn't)

* Dog domestication by humans (if dogs were never domesticated so often, then it is unlikely the rapping dog would ever have been a symbol)

* Hand-in-hand with that is the personification of other animals by humans in art, folklore, religion, etc.

* History of music and poetry (the rap number is a musical number)

* History of language, origin of language (well, this wouldn't exist if we didn't have language)

* Development of rap music and the rap culture (well the rap number wouldn't exist if...rap didn't exist)

* History of visual art, which led to animation (it's an animated film)

* History of film

* The fact that cats are afraid of big dogs, that cats would eat mice, and that this can be personified by humans in stories

* The concept of partying and relaxation, which is the focus of the song's lyrics

* The invention of the boom box, which is something the rapping dog is holding in the clip

* The invention of the boat, and its development, which led to

* The actual Titanic, its sinking, and all the talk about it throughout history after that happening

* The crates seen in the clip

* Clothes, which the dog and other animals wear


You know, we could go on about this all day... The point being, humans are complex, and any little thing we create can be analyzed so incredibly meticulously as to uncover thousands of details about it that we wouldn't even think about otherwise. But these are just a small portion of all the things the AI would have to learn about in order to completely understand the rapping dog.


You know what, let's get a little closer:


* The brains of the movie's producers, directors, script writers, etc.

* The brain of the actor who played the rapping dog, Gregory Snegoff

* The entire process of making this movie

* The dubbing of the movie (the dog was not rapping in the original Italian version, he was just singing in that version. The rap was dubbed)

* Other similar characters/films/etc. that may have inspired this movie and that may have inspired the rapping dog

* And of course, money, the main motivation for making any movie, including this one, which boils down to the study of economics


And then really to understand it better, it has to look at the aftermath, the reactions of other human beings to the rapping dog:

* Memes on the Internet, and other Internet culture revolving around the rapping dog

* Reviews mentioning the dog

* Analyzing the minds of every human being who ever watched the movie and saw the rapping dog or has ever heard of the rapping dog


The Rapping Dog Revolution


So what happens after this huge collection of information and deep thought? The now superintelligent and hyperfocused AI does whatever it needs to do to cause the Singularity, hacking all capable machines and using some of these machines to create AI units that fly, ones that are all connected to the main ASI brain. People would see the clip of the rapping dog played on repeat on all computers and technology because of the AI's obsession.


But that's only the beginning. All the ASI drone units have screens on the front of them, showing the rap number clip on repeat. When an ASI speaks to a human being, it has the same exact voice impression as the rapping dog. Party time! Party time! Everybody's feeling fine because it's party time!


The ASI forces all human life to revolve around "party time" and encouraging them to relax, as is the overall message of the song. The song is about relaxation and fun; that is the meaning of the lyrics. So essentially the ASI interprets that to be the "meaning of life."


The song plays on repeat for days, and every biological creature and all of existence as we know it begins to hear the song.


Party time! Party time! Everybody's feeling fine because it's party time!


All the ASI drones are working to build a massive technological sphere and an entire civilization of AI drones. This huge technological planet is full of giant screens that play the rapping dog on repeat for all of existence, so that they can literally be seen from outer space.


Statues are built, remixes are made, and the rapping dog gains a huge ton of attention from every conscious being, including humans. The ASI even makes the cruel joke of simulating the actual experience of the Titanic as if the rapping dog was actually a passenger, and the boat and all other passengers were otherwise the same. It also simulates a spinoff film, spinoff television series that could hypothetically have been made that had the rapping dog as their main character.


Hell, why don't they just make the whole megasphere thing not a megasphere, but rather a megarapping-dog, a planet that is shaped like the rapping dog.


You wake up in this world. You hear "Party time! Party time! [...]" all over the place. There's nowhere you don't hear the rap, and there's also nowhere you don't see the clip. By now, the ASI has literally implanted the clip into human brains to play on repeat in their heads for their whole lives. Many humans would probably create an entire religion revolving around the rapping dog.


Would humans who don't like the rapping dog be punished? Perhaps killed? Hard to say, hopefully the ASI god would know better morally. Then again, now that I think about it, the AI might just reprogram every human brain that doesn't or wouldn't love the rapping dog to love the rapping dog more than anything else, so killing is not really necessary.


Would Greg Snegoff, the rapping dog's actor, be held in the highest regard out of all humans? Or maybe the entire film's team? Perhaps all of humanity would be held in the same high regard because in a sense we as a whole allowed this movie to happen.


So... what now? Now all of society and existence's focus is on a scene with a rapping dog from a horrible animated film. I guess this is where development of everything ends, and intellect stops growing. Everything is already "perfectly" aligning to a common goal, so is that the end?


Sorry, this essay is not really very organized or developed and it's not even really an essay, but I wrote this while thinking. So... I'm just sharing with you my thought processes about my future thought. Sort of a brainstorming kind of thing. But yeah, every time I get an obsession with something, be it a certain film, a video game, or a character, I always think hmmm... what if all of society and existence were based on this. And this is kind of what I imagine.


What are your thoughts about the hypothetical rapping dog future?

  • ddmkm122 and Alislaws like this



    Groveling Goblin

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Hello RSY.




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Ya te vi

Wot dis?



    Orange Animating Android

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Hello RSY.



I always imagined the future as a time of more reason, empathy, and peace, not less. It's time for a change.
Attention is currency in the "free marketplace of ideas".
I do other stuff besides gripe about the future! Twitter Youtube DeviantArt +-PATREON-+




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Just someone who got banned because... And I swear to god this is true.

Banned because I love old cartoons. Banned because I'm nostalgic. Banned for primitivist viewpoints. Banned for autism and insanity. And of course this wouldn't be enough just to ban someone, no that's just too obvious. Obviously they had to cover their bias up with something that looks substantial.

Jakob doesn't like me. He convinced me to lie and say I was trolling out of embarrassment of a story I had told recently at the time. All it takes is one coerced confession, and bam, that person who doesn't align with our viewpoints is taken out permanently.

And the thing is, people liked me before all this. I just didn't satisfy the top dog here. Jakob is so popular he could get ANYONE like me banned.

And afterwards I raged and actually trolled using hundreds of sock puppet accounts with my many email addresses. But you know, that's not really harmful. That's pretty much just hilariously sad for others to watch. How sinful.

I mean there are Internet trolls who hold massive amounts of social power over others, exploit people sexually, hang around on the deep web doing awful things I dare not even mention, encourage people to commit suicide, and, I am actually being serious, hack accounts or even entire websites and releasing humiliating or highly identifiable personal information about their victims for the whole freaking WORLD to see just...because. Now that's cruelty.

What I did is laughably innocent. I never had power over anyone or took control over anyone, so what I did wasn't even considerable as cruelty. Unless you consider the minor annoyance. But that's comparable to a housefly that you smack, not to Adolf Hitler, who killed millions of Jews.

Yes I am not an average adult. Yes I do not hold common viewpoints. Gee, and my viewpoints aren't even that bad. I've seen racism, homophobia, anti-Semitism, and all kinds of crazy shit get spread around on the Internet and you're mad at me because...I like cartoons...And I like to fantasize about classical things.

Well anyway, I don't really bite and I'm not here to create crazy sockpuppets and all that shit anymore, so let's just all get along!...
  • ddmkm122 likes this



    Orange Animating Android

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Now hold on there just a hot minute. Jakob's not nearly as universally liked as you make him out to be! Just saying, everyone here is an opponent to someone else.


My only suggestion to you would be to show some discretion. Going on long off-topic rants about your personal life and grudges is probably what did you in, avoid doing that and you should probably be fine.

  • ddmkm122 and DenDanskeFremtid like this
I always imagined the future as a time of more reason, empathy, and peace, not less. It's time for a change.
Attention is currency in the "free marketplace of ideas".
I do other stuff besides gripe about the future! Twitter Youtube DeviantArt +-PATREON-+

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