A few opening comments before getting to where I agree with you TG. Good post btw.
I think men who can't control themselves and resort to rape are insecure and weak. There are a million and more things to release sexual energy that aren't rape. Play a bass guitar, go to the gym, straight up smash shit in the woods. If an urge is that bad there are ways to move past it and even harness it. Adding purpose to life is a really good way to deal with sexual urges imo whatever that purpose may be for a given individual.
Romance and more importantly healthy relationships are not at all just offshoots of sexual desire. I'm sexually attracted to most women my age that I meet and some men. I wouldn't desire any relationship beyond casual sex with 99% of them though. As someone who's been in a good relationship for almost a year now we get way more mutual benefit from one another beyond sex. And she's trans, so reproduction doesn't enter the equation at all. I'm not sure I'm in love yet (maybe, it's good to take things slow) but whatever our relationship is it comes from a higher spiritual, emotional and philosophical place than base lust. And I fully expect my relationship to gain more substance as it ages assuming we stay together. I encourage you to read about relationships from people who keep them alive for decades, there's way more to them than base animalistic biological function.
I don't think women have excessive power due to their biology. Power is more than sexual desire and there are plenty of other ways that women are disadvantaged in society. Classical patriarchy in some countries is an example of that. Sexism in neoliberal democracies is another (it hurts men too.) I don't use the word patriarchy for neoliberal democracies because I don't think it applies. The men at the bottom are at the very least just as socially and economically disadvantaged as women even when that disadvantage takes different forms. And if society were truly patriarchal men at the bottom would have significant advantage over women which I'd argue they generally don't. Being brief because I don't feel like going into a diatribe about how sexism is bad for all genders and that rich people regardless of identity are so immensely advantaged that whatever sexism/racism they experience isn't even worth discussing because their economic advantage completely overpowers it.
With those things said I agree with you. Women generally have an easier time finding casual sex. This does indeed suck the big one and is a source of emotional distress for many men who haven't been given the skills by their socialization to deal with it. In part due to both the toxic masculinity of their mothers and fathers as well as their societies as a whole. And due to the toxic masculinity of women as well. That might sound like an oxymoron, but toxic masculinity isn't exclusive to men and anyone who says otherwise doesn't really understand what toxic masculinity is. They might argue that what I'm describing is toxic femininity, and while that surely exists too and can even apply to men, it's not what I mean. An example of a mother being toxicly masculine would be if she brushes off her son's emotions and encourages him to bottle them up. Often mothers who do this are also toxicly feminine and over socialize their daughters to lean into their emotions too much. Toxic men aren't naturally toxic, the toxicity is a learned trait from the people around them who encourage and teach it, making those people just as toxic. There are both toxic women and men, and while things are very dynamic some people really aren't all that toxic.
So where am I going with all this? Sex dolls are great for fun, but do we really want to be replacing substantive relationships with them? No. That's a really bad idea. Most humans do better when they have a partner(s) to go through life with. Partners mutually do emotional labour for each other that can't really be filled by platonic relationships. This is really important in general to building whole people who are able to self-determine and prosper. With this said, some people are neurologically diverse and don't need companionship of this type. If that works for an individual then there's no problem. If a given individual only wants to find an outlet for sexual urges I'd encourage that person to find more constructive avenues as an outlet. But ultimately if a sex doll works and leads to a complete person that's fine. I'm not arguing against them wholesale, only in the context that they're a complete solution because they're not.
What I'd suggest for most people, those who do need more than sex even if they don't know it themselves yet, is a relationship. To help men who can't find a good relationship we need much more comprehensive matchmaking programs to align them with compatible people, AI could help a lot here. There are women who have a hard time finding men too and connecting those two groups in a healthy way is a good approach. Another problem is that some men for one reason or another genuinely don't know how to act in order to attract a good girl and maintain a relationship. Those folks need comprehensive sex and relationship therapy. In some cases that might call for a surrogate partner so that inexperienced men can learn how relationships work hands on with real sex and a real relationship.
Most of what I'm saying applies to women who have trouble too. Finally some men have shit luck because they are genuinely ugly. This is partly a social problem and partly a material one. A more enlightened culture would put less emphasis on vain surface beauty like the body, and reducing sexism, racism and inequality will help move towards that end. At the same time this culture will not be there for centuries if not millennia imo. So in order to help ugly men technologically enabled bodily autonomy is important. If a man is ugly by his own standards and doesn't like that, we should develop technology that allow him to get a new body or modify his own to a point where he's comfortable. The final issue is an economic one. People who are impoverished in certain communities are considered undesirable by vain morons. Killing capitalism is the solution to that one.
In short, solutions:
Lack of social skills = comprehensive therapy
Lack of looks = radical bodily autonomy
Lack of luck = advanced matchmaking programs
Lack of economic advantage = kill capitalism
The problem is vast. Incels make some good points, and the people who can't move past their decorum and address their central arguments and concerns are part of the problem.
Edit: I'm wordy and I'm not revising this. TG, why can you inspire me to write a short essay length response in one sitting but pursuing my own writing ideas is like climbing a mountain?