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Timeline Proofread

futuretimeline.net future timeline editing English language errors

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#1
StanleyAlexander

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Since the timeline has recently been updated, and since typos and syntax or formatting errors are very few and far between, I thought I'd give it a proofread and try to catch what little bit is left.  Please feel free to comment on my suggestions, or add any of your own, but note that this thread is not the place to debate the content of the timeline: let's avoid discussing the feasibility of FTL travel, or whether California will really go back to Mexico, or how long it may or may not take to reach Type III.  This thread is reserved for spelling/grammar/syntax errors, continuity errors, historical errors and other black-and-white fixes we can make to continue to perfect the presentation of Future Timeline.

 

2009: Barack Obama is sworn in as 44th POTUS: "Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the U.S. in January 2009, becoming the first African American to hold office"  should read "Barack Obama was [color=#ff0000;]inaugurated[/color] the 44th president of the U.S. in January 2009, becoming..." as he was elected in November 2008.

 

2018: The Transbay Transit Center is completed in San Francisco: This prediction is slightly inconsistent with respect to this one about LA's new tallest building: both predictions claim to build the tallest tower on the American west coast.  From the San Francisco one: "Soaring to over 1,000 feet [its exact height is planned at 1,070 feet], it becomes the tallest tower on the American West Coast."  LA's Wilshire Grand is 1,100 feet and was completed a year earlier.  Wikipedia had the same 'tallest-in-the-west' problem, and solved it nicely: "The tower would be the seventh tallest building in the United States if standing in 2013, and was expected to become the tallest building in the Western United States, although by some measures it will be shorter than the Wilshire Grand Tower, which is planned to open in Los Angeles in 2017."  Also, the video on the Transbay Center prediction got removed.

 

2020: The 5G standard is released: The pictured 2011 release date of the 4th generation seems a bit incongruous with the iPhone's  actual 2007 release date.  Also, the above link is attached to the 2020 master page, because the link to the 5G standard prediction doesn't work.

 

2024: Gay marriage is legal in every US state: "By 2015, the number of Americans opposing gay marriage was being exceeded by those in support."  Polls on gay marriage in the US have consistently found a majority in support since 2010.  Since changing the year directly will force a simultaneous change of the accompanying sentence about legal gains made by 2011, maybe just change the sentence in question to read "By 2015, the number of Americans opposing gay marriage is significantly exceeded by those in support."

 

2025: Human brain simulations are becoming possible: The y-axis of the graph implies that "FLOPS" stands for "FLoating point OPerationS," when it actually stands for "FLoating point Operations Per Second."

 

2025: China is becoming highly urbanised: There is an extra comma in this sentence: "The country has prepared for this[color=#ff0000;],[/color] by strengthening relations with Central Asian countries and importing more oil and gas from them, especially Turkmenistan which has made significant new discoveries."  After reading it several times, I understand why the comma is there, and you're not breaking any hard grammatical rules by leaving it in, but I think the sentence would make the same point more clearly and concisely without it.

 

2026: Global reserves of indium are running out: "Indium" should not be capitalized in the last sentence of this prediction.

 

2028: Resurrection of several extinct species has been achieved: "Dodo" and "Wild Pigeon" should not be capitalized here.

 

2035: Distributed propulsion systems are revolutionising air travel: Formatting error: the font size changes between the first and second paragraph.

 

2040: Annual deaths from cardiovascular disease have reached negligible levels in the U.S.: Formatting error: the font size in this prediction is a point or two smaller than the rest of the timeline.

 

2045: The Chuo Shinkansen high speed maglev route is complete: Formatting error: the font changes on the special characters in the title of this prediction.

 

2045-2049: Major extinctions of animal and plant life: "Dumping of dredged sediment, as part of the world's largest coal port, has caused further damage."  This sentence is unclear, specifically the role of the coal port in the dumping.  Alternatively, it could read "Dumping of dredged sediment to help create the world's largest coal port has caused further damage."

 

2050: Nearly half of the Amazon rainforest has been deforested: In the second paragraph, "Although clean energy sources are offsetting this, it can't save the countless species..." should read "Although clean energy sources are offsetting this, [color=#ff0000;]they[/color] can't save the countless species..."

 

2082: The USA cedes territory to Mexico: The difference of Mexican behavior with respect to other Latino immigrants is noted twice in this prediction.  1, in the first paragraph below the Mexican flag: "Although many different ethnic groups would arrive, the Mexicans would behave differently.  It was this..." and 2, the first sentence of two paragraphs later: "The immigrants from Mexico behaved differently, however.  Many became integrated..."  I would advise dropping the last two sentences from that first paragraph.

 

298,000 AD: Voyager 2 is approaching Sirius: "Ecliptic" shouldn't be capitalized here.

 

That's all I got.  Anyone else see any typos or formatting/continuity errors in the timeline?


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#2
wjfox

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Very helpful - thanks!!



#3
StanleyAlexander

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Very helpful - thanks!!

Anytime!


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#4
Italian Ufo

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StanleyAlexander   writes extremely well. He helped me to edit some of my university applications and eventually I got accepted to the best university in the UKs namly the London School of Economics and UCL. He was just incredible.



#5
StanleyAlexander

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StanleyAlexander   writes extremely well. He helped me to edit some of my university applications and eventually I got accepted to the best university in the UKs namly the London School of Economics and UCL. He was just incredible.

Thanks for the kind words, Italian!  Always glad to help, and congrats on your acceptance!


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#6
wjfox

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Since the timeline has recently been updated, and since typos and syntax or formatting errors are very few and far between, I thought I'd give it a proofread and try to catch what little bit is left.  Please feel free to comment on my suggestions, or add any of your own, but note that this thread is not the place to debate the content of the timeline: let's avoid discussing the feasibility of FTL travel, or whether California will really go back to Mexico, or how long it may or may not take to reach Type III.  This thread is reserved for spelling/grammar/syntax errors, continuity errors, historical errors and other black-and-white fixes we can make to continue to perfect the presentation of Future Timeline.

 

2009: Barack Obama is sworn in as 44th POTUS: "Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the U.S. in January 2009, becoming the first African American to hold office"  should read "Barack Obama was [color=#ff0000;]inaugurated[/color] the 44th president of the U.S. in January 2009, becoming..." as he was elected in November 2008.

 

2018: The Transbay Transit Center is completed in San Francisco: This prediction is slightly inconsistent with respect to this one about LA's new tallest building: both predictions claim to build the tallest tower on the American west coast.  From the San Francisco one: "Soaring to over 1,000 feet [its exact height is planned at 1,070 feet], it becomes the tallest tower on the American West Coast."  LA's Wilshire Grand is 1,100 feet and was completed a year earlier.  Wikipedia had the same 'tallest-in-the-west' problem, and solved it nicely: "The tower would be the seventh tallest building in the United States if standing in 2013, and was expected to become the tallest building in the Western United States, although by some measures it will be shorter than the Wilshire Grand Tower, which is planned to open in Los Angeles in 2017."  Also, the video on the Transbay Center prediction got removed.

 

2020: The 5G standard is released: The pictured 2011 release date of the 4th generation seems a bit incongruous with the iPhone's  actual 2007 release date.  Also, the above link is attached to the 2020 master page, because the link to the 5G standard prediction doesn't work.

 

2024: Gay marriage is legal in every US state: "By 2015, the number of Americans opposing gay marriage was being exceeded by those in support."  Polls on gay marriage in the US have consistently found a majority in support since 2010.  Since changing the year directly will force a simultaneous change of the accompanying sentence about legal gains made by 2011, maybe just change the sentence in question to read "By 2015, the number of Americans opposing gay marriage is significantly exceeded by those in support."

 

2025: Human brain simulations are becoming possible: The y-axis of the graph implies that "FLOPS" stands for "FLoating point OPerationS," when it actually stands for "FLoating point Operations Per Second."

 

2025: China is becoming highly urbanised: There is an extra comma in this sentence: "The country has prepared for this[color=#ff0000;],[/color] by strengthening relations with Central Asian countries and importing more oil and gas from them, especially Turkmenistan which has made significant new discoveries."  After reading it several times, I understand why the comma is there, and you're not breaking any hard grammatical rules by leaving it in, but I think the sentence would make the same point more clearly and concisely without it.

 

2026: Global reserves of indium are running out: "Indium" should not be capitalized in the last sentence of this prediction.

 

2028: Resurrection of several extinct species has been achieved: "Dodo" and "Wild Pigeon" should not be capitalized here.

 

2035: Distributed propulsion systems are revolutionising air travel: Formatting error: the font size changes between the first and second paragraph.

 

2040: Annual deaths from cardiovascular disease have reached negligible levels in the U.S.: Formatting error: the font size in this prediction is a point or two smaller than the rest of the timeline.

 

2045: The Chuo Shinkansen high speed maglev route is complete: Formatting error: the font changes on the special characters in the title of this prediction.

 

2045-2049: Major extinctions of animal and plant life: "Dumping of dredged sediment, as part of the world's largest coal port, has caused further damage."  This sentence is unclear, specifically the role of the coal port in the dumping.  Alternatively, it could read "Dumping of dredged sediment to help create the world's largest coal port has caused further damage."

 

2050: Nearly half of the Amazon rainforest has been deforested: In the second paragraph, "Although clean energy sources are offsetting this, it can't save the countless species..." should read "Although clean energy sources are offsetting this, [color=#ff0000;]they[/color] can't save the countless species..."

 

2082: The USA cedes territory to Mexico: The difference of Mexican behavior with respect to other Latino immigrants is noted twice in this prediction.  1, in the first paragraph below the Mexican flag: "Although many different ethnic groups would arrive, the Mexicans would behave differently.  It was this..." and 2, the first sentence of two paragraphs later: "The immigrants from Mexico behaved differently, however.  Many became integrated..."  I would advise dropping the last two sentences from that first paragraph.

 

298,000 AD: Voyager 2 is approaching Sirius: "Ecliptic" shouldn't be capitalized here.

 

That's all I got.  Anyone else see any typos or formatting/continuity errors in the timeline?

 

 

All done! :)

 

Thanks again for your help!


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#7
StanleyAlexander

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^ My pleasure... honestly it was just an excuse to read the timeline front to back again


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#8
StanleyAlexander

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With all the new additions to the timeline, I thought I'd go through it again.  WJFox, great work as always; thanks for all the inspiration!

 

Here's what I found:

 

2011: The Death of Osama bin Laden

-Sometimes bin Laden's name is written with a hyphen (“bin-Laden”), and sometimes without.  Not sure if one is more correct than the other, but without looks better to me.
 
-Missing word in 2nd paragraph: “This was established by the Scotland act 1998, which set out its powers...” should be “This was established by the Scotland act in 1998...” or “...of 1998...”  Maybe "act" should be capitalized as well?
-Also, missing word in 9th paragraph: “...while keeping defence, pensions and foreign affairs at UK level.” should be “...while keeping defence, pensions and foreign affairs at the UK level.”
 
-From a slightly unclear sentence in the third paragraph: “...Uganda would undergo an economic boom – bringing electricity to the 90% who had lived without it...” should be “...bringing electricity to the 90% of Ugandans who had lived without it...”
 
-“The East African Federation, for instance, was established in 2015.” This has been pushed back and has not yet (as of feb. 2016) been established.  Suggested change to “...was established in 2016.”
 
-Grammar: “Some $10 billion are spent on the tournament...” should be “Some $10 billion is spent on the tournament...”
 
-Syntax: “It can sometimes lead to pneumonia, either direct viral pneumonia or secondary bacterial pneumonia, even in persons who are usually very healthy.” would be better as “It can sometimes lead to direct viral pneumonia or secondary bacterial pneumonia, even in persons...”
 
-Punctuation: “Another key feature is that the entire development is built to withstand earthquakes; a likely possibility in the Bay Area.”  This sentence should use an 'em' dash (–) instead of a semicolon.
 
-Missing words in the fourth paragraph: “...preventing it from overlapping or flooding areas it was not needed.” should be “...overlapping or flooding areas in which it was not needed.”
-Missing comma in the fifth paragraph: “Among the early adopters were Los Angeles – which completed a massive retrofit in 2012 – and New York which replaced all 250,000 of its street lights with LEDs by 2017.” should be “...and New York, which replaced...”
-Also, parenthetic years in the third paragraph are a bit clumsy... maybe those countries which passed regulations in 2012 would read better as “...Argentina, Canada, Russia and the United States (2012).”  This would be more consistent with the grouping of nations & years in the rest of the list as well.
 
-Missing word toward the end: “...geopolitical tensions in the region will shake the global economy, stretching US-China relations to near-breaking point...”  Should be “...stretching US-China relations to a [or the] near-breaking point...”
 
-Change of tense in the fourth paragraph: “Deaths from these conditions have been largely eliminated in rich countries by the early 2040s.” Should be “Deaths from these conditions will have been largely eliminated...” as we're still in 2020.
 
-Syntax: “Greenland became a colony of Denmark, with trading routes developed along the coast as well as a trade monopoly and other colonial privileges.” this makes it sound like Greenland (not Denmark) has colonial privileges, as Greenland is still the subject of the sentence.  Suggested change: “...a trade monopoly and other colonial institutions.”
 
-Syntax: “Temperatures on both land and sea have continued to rise” should be “Temperatures both on land and at sea...” or “Temperatures of both land and sea...” This one is arguable, and depends on whether you're referring to ocean surface temperatures or atmospheric temperatures above oceans, but I don't think “on both land and sea” works.  Maybe “Atmospheric temperatures of both land and sea...” ?
-Also: “Great Plains in the USA is one such region” should be “The Great Plains in the USA...”
 
-Changes of tense in the fourth paragraph: “All of these new carriages now featured air conditioning, for vastly improved comfort. In addition, hi-tech electronic displays could provide real-time information, while better lighting created a "living room" feel.”  We're now back to the present (2022), so this should be “...new carriages now feature air conditioning... while better lighting creates a “living room” feel.”
 
-The caption of the photo is in the same font, size & format as the text of the article.
-Also, in the same caption: “...large areas of north and south Germany would be made uninhabitable if all plants were to meltdown”  should be “...if all plants were to melt down.”
 
-Punctuation in the third paragraph: “...the Jordan River that separates Israel and the Palestinian territories from Jordan; the Indus and the Brahmaputra in India and South Asia, as well as the Amu Darya in Central Asia” should be “...the Brahmaputra in India and South Asia; as well as the Amu Darya in Central Asia.”
-Also, maybe replace “as well as” with “and”?
 
-Missing word: “This radio telescope has a combined collecting area of approximately one kilometre.” should be “… of approximately one square kilometre.”
 
-Punctuation: “At closest approach, Solar Probe Plus hurtles around the Sun at approximately 450,000 miles per hour; fast enough to get from Philadelphia to Washington in one second.”  This sentence should use an 'em' dash (–) instead of a semicolon.
 
-In the second paragraph: “...including kilometre-high “supertalls”” should read “megatalls,” since that's technically a thing now.
 
-Extra word in the third paragraph: “...$51.8 billion, or €39 billion euros” should be “$51.8 billion, or €39 billion”
 
-Syntax in the 2nd paragraph: “By 2010, part of the megalopolis was already under sea level,” and in the 6th paragraph: “By the early 2030s, large portions of the megalopolis are well below sea level.”  As awesome a word as 'megalopolis' is, twice in two similar sentences in the same article seems excessive.  Maybe change the latter sentence to: “By the early 2030s, large portions of Bangkok are well below sea level.”
 
-Missing word in the 4th paragraph, “...were finalised in the mid-2020s, with construction taking a decade after that” should be “...with construction taking place a decade after that”
 
-Grammar in the second paragraph: “...people were unable to afford treatment as they either lacked insurance coverage or the insurance they had would not pay.” Should be “...they either lacked insurance coverage or had insurance that would not pay.”
 
-Toward the end of the article, the last mention of the Darien gap is missing the accent mark on the 'e'.
 
Grammar: “One of the latest resources for extraction is Helium-3, for use in the reactors of fusion power plants” should be “One of the latest resources being extracted is Helium-3...” or “One of the latest resources available for extraction is Helium-3...”
 
-In the fourth paragraph: “Some of the largest craft house upwards of 100,000+ residents” is slightly redundant; remove the “+”
 
-Wrong word in the second paragraph: “Lighting is achieved more discretely, using a combination of self-illuminating walls and surfaces...” should be “Lighting is achieved more discreetly...”
 
-Grammar at the beginning of the introduction: “The entire Solar System and surrounding interstellar neighbourhood is being transformed by an ever-expanding sphere of influence produced by massive levels of artificial intelligence. It completely dominates the Earth now...” The first word of the second sentence, “it,” refers grammatically to the Solar System and local stellar group, the subject of the previous sentence.  Suggested change: “AI completely dominates the Earth now...”
 
-Grammar in the ninth paragraph: “Vast areas of abandoned wasteland became rich ecosystems teaming with life; even ancient megafauna such as mammoths.”  The portion of the sentence after the semicolon needs a verb.  Suggested change: “...even ancient megafauna such as mammoths are now thriving in their natural habitats.”  Alternatively, you could replace the semicolon with an 'em' dash, or even just a comma.
-Also, in the same sentence, “teaming” should be “teeming”
 
-The legend at the bottom of the graphic puts Eris's orbital period at 557 years.  It's actually just over 558 years, as described in the text.
 
-Punctuation in the first paragraph: “Persian astronomer, Abd al-Rahman al-Sufi, described the object as a "small cloud".” The commas shouldn't be there, unless the sentence begins with 'the'.  Either “Persian astronomer Abd al-Rahman al-Sufi described the object...” or “The Persian astronomer, Abd al-Rahman al-Sufi, described the object...” (I like the first one better).
-Also, al-Sufi is referred to later in the first paragraph as Al Sufi.
 
-In the second paragraph: “Other superclusters are also converging, but are now separated from each other by billions of light years due to the acceleration of dark energy.”  Should be “...due to the expansion of space caused by dark energy” or “...the accelerating expansion of space caused by dark energy” or something similar, as dark energy isn't actually what's accelerating (...as if I know wtf dark energy is).
 
-Spelling: “The Milky Way galaxy is becoming a dark, empty place dominated by enormous blackholes.” Should be “...enormous black holes.”

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#9
wjfox

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Thanks for this! :) You're incredibly helpful. If I get some free time this weekend I'll go through and change these.



#10
StanleyAlexander

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^ No problem!


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#11
Jakob

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A couple more notes:

 

From 2021: "Most of the latest electric/electronic devices now have antennas in place of batteries"--is there a difference between electric and electronic devices? You should choose one.

 

From 2022: "Water is becoming a weapon of war" doesn't really seem semantically appropriate--wars are being fought over water supplies, not with water.



#12
wjfox

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From 2022: "Water is becoming a weapon of war" doesn't really seem semantically appropriate--wars are being fought over water supplies, not with water.

 

I think it's fine. It basically means using water as leverage, i.e. like a weapon.







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