Yes, I am Just Joking

Anything that doesn't quite fit in elsewhere...
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Well, the Wurfs finally released me from my captivity. It took a bit of negotiating, but I finally figured out how to deal with them. I noticed that at heart they were strict contrarians. So, whatever I requested, they were sure to give me the opposite of what I desired. From there, it was a simple matter of insisting how much I loved being their captives and how I never wanted to be released or be free again. So, naturally they decided to release me.

The release ceremony was rather strange. It included Wurfs riding on top of Mastodons, and the stringing of hives from branches. Astroturf was in great abundance along-side all manner of corporate advertising. A rather colorful event. One of my guards expressed in parting words that I would never be truly free of their presence. Somehow, I had the vague feeling that he was correct.
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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A Discussion of Origins
by a Certain Wurf
November 2022

Introduction:
(Caltrek News) Today we talk with noted theological historian D.M. Witt. Dr. Witt is a widely cited expert on the origins of the many tribes of Wurfs.

Certain Wurf: You have written that you are quite skeptical of the assertion that Wurfs were all originally descended from Munchkins. Is that correct?

Dr. Witt: Speim

Certain Wurf: I see. How about claims that the tribes of Wurfs were once consolidated under Mosecus before he left the land of the Sparrows?

Dr. Witt: Speim.

Wait, before you moves on, yes I think that description of the origins of the origins of Wurfs has merit.

Certain Wurf: How was it that the tribes came to be expelled?

Dr. Witt: Well, there was a sparrow who ruled in ancient times who made a series of pronouncements. The exact order of the pronouncements is not known, for sure, but I have reconstructed what happened as my best guess:

First, he announced that Gremlins were of no use to society, and that they must be banned. Other than Gremlins, there was little protest to this idea.

So it came to pass that Gremlins were banned from the land of the Sparrows.

Then, he announced that Leprechauns were of no use to Sparrows, and that they must be banned. Other than Leprechauns, there were no protests to this idea.

So it came to pass that Leprechauns were banned from the land of the Sparrows.

Then he announced that Munchkins were of little use to the Sparrows, and that they must be banned. Other than Munchkins, there were no protests to this idea.

So it came to pass that Munchkins were banned from the land of the Sparrows.

Then he announced that Ewoks were of no use to the Sparrows. Further that their continued presences on the planet was a threat to all concerned.
So it came to pass that Ewoks were banned not just from the land of the Sparrows, but from the planet as well.

It may be that the Ewoks were never actually under the leadership of Mosecus, but instead were escorted off the planet by Little Green Men.

Then he announced that Minions were of no use to the Sparrows. Other than Minions, there were no protests to this idea.
So it came to pass that Minions were banned from the land of the Sparrows.

Certain Wurf: Interesting. *yawns*

I see that our time has run out. Perhaps you can join us some other time to continue this fascinating description.

Dr. Witt: Speim.
Read more here: Another broken link. Darn Gremlins.
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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A Brief Essay on Ewok History and Philosophy
by a Certain Ewok
November, 2022

Introduction:
(Caltrek News) I was asked by Dr. D.M. Witt to write up a description of the Ewoks for Caltrek News. Let me start by noting that it is not at all certain that Ewoks originated in the Land of the Sparrows. Still, paintings of sparrows and related beings figure prominently in Ewok art. Ewok literature is also rich in allusion to ancient sparrows, so the temptation to make a connection is understandable. It is also claimed that there is a connection between Little Green Men and Ewoks. Again, their history does seem to be intertwined in ways that have been obscured by the passage of time.

In general, Ewok philosophy does show the influence of cultures outside of the Ewok tradition as properly understood by historians. Take, for example, the word nagual. Among other things, nagual relates to ways of understanding knowledge. For the Ewok, there are three or four basic fields of influence over day-to-day life:
1. That which is known and readily understood by those open to receiving knowledge.
2. That which is currently unknown, but which may become known in the future through scientific investigation.
3. That which is currently unknown and will probably never be known. In turn this falls in to two categories:
a. That which is known to be unknown.
b. That which is so far out of sight and mind that it is not even known to be unknown, and yet somehow affects our lives.


Of the three, the nagual straddles the second and the third. It is both the subject of scientific inquiry, but also the source of mystery and possibly even great danger. The realm of unintended consequences is definitely related to the nagual. Those who fear the nagual respect the powerful impact unintended consequences may have upon Ewok society. Nagual is the proper subject matter of study and speculation by both scientists and shamans. Still, their methods of inquiry can be radically different.

Ewok are content to live in nature, yet they can be formidable adversaries to even the most technologically advanced of civilizations. Ewok knowledge and philosophy is such that the Ewok are quick to spot weaknesses in new technological forms of warfare that may be waged against them from time to time. The Ewok can also be true masters of disguise and camouflage. So, over the eons they have learned how to make themselves invisible to even the most advanced forms of surveillance and study.

Ewok are also amiable creatures, at least if approached in the correct manner. As such, when under threat they are often able to strike up alliances with other cultures that also find themselves under threat from a common enemy.
Read more here, with apologies to Carlos Castaneda for appropriating and adapting his description of the nagual: broken link due to an unintended conseq ... Gremlins
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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A Walk in the Forest
by caltrek

Introduction:
(Caltrek News ) I recently took a walk in a nearby forest where I overheard a brief part of a conversation between two Ewok. The first asked the second “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”

The second replied, “I am not your research assistant.”

Further down the path I came upon two snails browsing on the forest floor. To my great surprise, one of the snails raised its head with an expression upon its face as if it had just experienced an epiphany. This snail turned to the second and asked, “Did it ever occur to you that radical ideas that are rejected by institutions become institutions rejecting radical ideas?”

Quickly, the second snail gave a deadpan answer, “no.” They both then resumed their grazing

Read more here: http://u-didnt-think-this-link-would-ac ... ork-did-u

caltrek’s comment: This is where it gets redundant.

Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Robot Found Severely Damaged Near Munchkin Forest
by A Certain Munchkin
December 23, 2022

Introduction:
(Caltrek News) A damaged robot was found today near the boundaries of a Munchkin forest. Observers speculate that it may have been the victim of some irate Ewoks who inhabit the forest. The Ewoks live there with permission of Munchkin authorities. There have been several incidents of robots being damaged due to their unauthorized presence near an Ewokian homestead. Authorities are looking into the matter, as well as tightening security precautions along the perimeter of the forest.

The Tin Man denied any knowledge of the incident and pointed out that the robot was of a newer model than the standard issue that he associated with. He did ask to be kept abreast as to the condition of the robot, as he might be able to locate its owner and effect salvation efforts.

The robot was also heard to mutter something about flunking the Turing test as well as being mauled by a large bear and nothing else before communications shut down. Observers speculate that the bear was in fact an oversized Ewok, or perhaps a band of Ewoks.

More at eleven (or when and if we feel like it).
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Santa Claus Wishes Everyone a Merry Christmas
by a Certain Elf
December 25, 2022

Introduction:
(Santa Headquarters via Caltrek News) Santa Claus asked that I convey to all of you his wishes that you all have a very Merry Christmas.
It has been a rough year for Santa. First, there was that whole affair with the Grinch trying to steal Christmas. Fortunately, a lot of good-hearted people intervened, and the right to enjoy Christmas for another year was protected.

Then there was the problem with the striking elves. It seems that the introduction of robots into the assembly lines had caused great consternation among many elves that they were being replaced. Santa assured them that his intentions were to make their work easier. The elves tentatively agreed to the new work arrangements but insisted upon prior consultation before any further moves were made along these lines.

This prompted concerns amongst the robot workers. The Tin Man was then appointed to provide mediation services between Santa and the robots. By the end of the year, Santa’s workshops were running smoothly. Tensions remain, but at least production is back on track.

Although NORAD will continue to track Santa’s movements as he makes his deliveries, Santa has asked that his exact location be kept quiet and not be broadcast throughout the media. “It is a privacy matter,” he explained. “I don’t mind being kept track of for security concerns, but it is rather irksome that everybody knows where I am at any given time. Also, there are concerns that gremlins may take advantage of this knowledge, not to mention the Grinch.”

caltrek’s comment: Happy Holidays! :D
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

Post by caltrek »

Neil deGrasse Tyson
@neiltyson

In case you were wondering, for Santa, in a single 24-hr Earth-night, to deliver presents to all those who celebrate Christmas, he must visit 25,000 homes per second.
3:02 PM · Dec 24, 2022
It is a good thing that Santa has mastered the art of FTL travel.

Signed,

A Certain Elf
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Yuli Ban wrote: Sun Jan 08, 2023 6:38 am Me:

Imagine a town called Springfield, where the mayor is conservative (Republican). There is 4% unemployment. The economy is currently in a bull market; disruption from the pandemic has largely passed; Besides basic municipal services such as the police, fire department, and public libraries, socialism is nonexistent; everyone except a few college students identify as capitalist, whether liberal or conservative. Taxes are relatively low. The quality of life is very high.

You run a small business that sells products X, Y, and Z at a certain rate. You employ 25 people of varying skills, from technicians to a janitor. You compete with other businesses nearby, but you've been in business for years and see modest year-over-year growth that means you aren't likely to go out of business. You earn $90,000 a year while the average wage you pay your workers is around $12/hour. The highest wage is $17 an hour; the lowest wage is $7.25 an hour. Turnover rate is low, at least one replacement employee every few months.

For the most part, you are only concerned about business expenses, day to day operations, and quarterly returns.

Right next door is a fastfood joint that pays $15 an hour, but is a high stress fast-paced job. The average order each customer pays is around $12. Despite this, the fastfood place barely breaks even each quarter.

This is the status quo.

Repeat what I stated if you understand the situation.

ChatGPT:

Sneed's Feed & Seed
Formerly Chuck's
Sorry couldn't resist :mrgreen:
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

-Franklin Pierce Adams
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

Post by caltrek »

I never wanted to belong to a club that would have me as a member.

-Woody Allen
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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