Yes, I am Just Joking

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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans
by Andy Borowitz
June , 2022

Introduction:
(New Yorker) MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.

“These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”
More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”

While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.
Read more here: https://www.newyorker.com/contributors/andy-borowitz
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Texas has been getting in the news lately, what with threats to secede and all on account of folks in the good ole U.S. of A. actually decided that maybe the neanderthal Trump should be replaced by somebody...well...sane. Insanity and Texas politics kind of go hand in hand together. The late great Molly Ivins helped educate the rest of us regarding that peculiar trait. I have been reading Letters to The Nation, which is a collection of her dispatches to the magazine The Nation. Here is an excerpt from one of her dispatches that was published way back in 1984. Geroge Orwell would have enjoyed it.
So Marko Blanco (all our politicians are trying to be bilingual these days, but as Agricultural Commissioner Jim Hightower says, it just makes most of them bi-ignorant) appointed H. Ross Perot to head up this committee to figure out what's wrong with public schools. H. Ross took off like an unguided missile. I keep having to explain to foreigners that some loopy right-wing Dallas billionaires are a lot better than others, and H. Ross happens to be one of our better right-wing billionaires...Anyway, H. Ross decided everything was wrong with the schools - teachers, courses, books. The Board of Education had ruled that no one could teach evolution as fact in Texas schools, and H. Ross said it was making us look dumber than the Luzbuddy debate team. Actually, he said "laughingstock." Then H. Ross went seven bubbles off plumb crazy as a peach-orchard boar, and announced the trouble with the schools is TOO MUCH FOOTBALL. That's when we all realized H. Ross Perot is secretly an agent of the Kremlin; yes, a Commie, out to destroy the foundation of the entire Texian way of life.

The Legislature had a fit of creeping socialism and passed nearly every one of H. Ross's reforms, so now a kid can't play football unless he's passing all his courses, and he has to take stuff like math and English. Probably means the end of the world is close at hand. The Legislature even raised some taxes to pay for all this school stuff; first time they've raised taxes in thirteen years, so you see how serious it is.
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Here is the text of a meme recently shared by an ex-coworker of mine via Facebook:
Don't worry about your smartphone and TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Here is an oldie but a goodie that has been making the rounds again lately:

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

-Lily Tomlin
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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“Now people are always asking me, What do you want people to say about you 100 years from now?' I always say I want them to say ‘Dang, don't she still look good for her age’.”

— From Dolly Parton's 2009 University of Tennessee, Knoxville commencement speech

Source (and more from where that came from): https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/689 ... lly-parton
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Ever have to deal with one of those sights? You know, where:

Image
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Bussinessmen are apt to take the view of the police court defendant who was told he would get justice, and replied that this was what he was afraid of.
-Adolf A. Berle, 1959
Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Darth Putin
@DarthPutinKGB:
Looking back, I should known it (the war in Ukraine) would be disaster as soon as Trump said it was "genius move".
8:24 AM · Sep 11, 2022
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Don't mourn, organize.

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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Strangely enough, you won't find much panic with Russian President Vladimir Putin, or so it seems. Putin appeared at a new martial arts center and dedicated a 140-meter-tall ferris wheel in Moscow on Saturday, and oddly did not look like a man whose military is actively unraveling in its "special military operation."
...
In an incredible bit of irony, the ferris wheel broke down Saturday evening.
Source: https://www.thedrive.com/the-war-zone/r ... nning-rout
Don't mourn, organize.

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caltrek
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Re: Yes, I am Just Joking

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Don't mourn, organize.

-Joe Hill
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